Ah MIP, the big international TV marketplace held twice a year in Cannes - MIPTV in April and the bigger MIPCOM in October. A week out of the office to swan around the Croissette, sipping cocktails and schmoozing. Er, no. A week out of the office with three solid days of meetings from 9 til 7pm. Then drinks. Then dinner. Then more drinks...
For a channel our size these are important markets as it's where a lot of our cool content comes from. The excellent doc "Who's Afraid of Michel Gondry?" for example. Found at MIPTV in April. "Queen Rock Montreal"? April again.
We buy content from all over the world so twice a year we actually get to meet, in the flesh, the distributors and producers. You get a good working relationship and everything's cool - distributors will come to you with new programming and that saves time - and shoe leather. Imagine a giant trade fair held across multiple floors with thousands of TV types from all over the globe running around trying to look more important than anyone else. Want to stand out from the crowd? Wear a ridiculous Rupert Bear-style checked suit. No one will forget you in a hurry. Even if that's for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't me either before you suggest such a thing. Probably American.
In the month or so before MIP you start making appointments with your regulars (oo er) as well as wading through the tons of e-mails from distributors who've accessed the buyer database. The latter is supposed to help them target their mail shots. It's getting better but I still don't remember ticking the "animated Russian pornography" box on the list of programming I was looking for.
On the flight try and avoid eye contact with strangers less you get pitched at... though I did manager to get pitched whilst waiting to collect my case at Nice airport. Got to admire that I guess...
Then it works like speed dating. You have a calendar that's a series of 30min meetings back to back - maybe with a lunch or a break for lunch - between 9ish and 7pm (there are team breakfasts most days too at 8.30am). This is all fine if, like my colleague Phil, you plan your diary so you don't have to run around - a day of meetings in the Riviera Hall, then a day down in the Bunker (it's much worse than it sounds). Of course you can do it like me, which means starting out with these good intentions then losing track or just forgetting and finding yourself running all over the place between meetings. And if you don;'t build in at least a free slot you can find, thanks to people overrunning, that you have about 10mins to actually talk about programming. If it's the first time you're meeting a distributor there's a few minutes small talk, a coffee or water (depending on whether you look like you're about to fall asleep or collapse), some talk about the channel (this time around about our relaunch plans) and then you get onto the catalogue. If you're not meeting them on stand but in the buyer's lounge then it's true speed dating territory as people furtively cruise the room looking at everyone's badges to find who they're supposed to meet. One guy last year attached a photo to the e-mail request - forward thinking if a little odd at first.
Comfy trainers are one thing. Dried fruit and/or snack bars and water help too. A large bag even more so. Delegates get a bag when they register. Strangely they've never quite mastered the idea that carrying a bright red or orange bag around that screams "tourist!!" isn't what everyone wants. My local charity shop gets two a year - though demand in Holloway is probably even more limited. Anyway, the reason for the large (preferably expandable) bag is for the flyers and DVDs. They add up. This year I was snowed under after my first meeting (old school producer who doesn't do websites but prefers programming info in hardcopy form). Got a break when a meeting got rearranged and had half an hour to leg it back to the apartment and in a Black Hawk Down style remove anything and everything surplus to requirements - a rainforest of catalogues, tons of DVDs etc etc
So, highlights...
Team dinner on Sunday was fun - most of the Sky people had arrived (granted not everyone's luggage had but...). Downside, my quitting smoking lasted about 3/4 hour when willpower went and I bummed one off Ian Lewis who runs movies. Shameful but God hates a quitter.
Brit Films - was introduced to Nick from Britfilms by Ian from Eureka! (UK's best DVD label who release the "Masters of Cinema" titles). Britfilms have a shortfilm competition which we might be able to collaborate on. And Nick asked if I'd be interested in being a judge next time.
Dinner with Sandrine from Euroarts - one of our regular suppliers of classical/opera programming. We alternate who buys dinner and this market it was Sandrine who took Phil and I out for dinner.
This was followed by the Beat Club launch party - Andrew and Will from Eagle Rock got Phil and I in (technically we were gatecrashing but my invite arrived on the Monday I got back into the office). Mungo Jerry (ask your parents) playing live in a tiny bar followed by some appropriate tracks from the likes of the Stones, Hendrix etc. Try to get a late/early drink at 2.15 but tonight, for some reason, the bar at the Grand is shut. Given the prices they may have run out of room to put all the cash from the bar...
Drink with John Wyver from Illuminations - he wanted to see the England game so we're in the Irish bar next door to the Irish bar where the previous night's Beat Club party was held. Then a change of shirt (no time for shower so it's a "spray aftershave in the air and walk through it" moment) then off to the Eagle Rock team dinner. A great crowd - welcoming, entertaining and fun. Tonight the Grand has deigned to stay open so a few late drinks (Wednesday is my last full day as I fly out tomorrow after one last meeting), say au revoir to the Eagle crew and back to the apartment where, a 2.45am, the key snaps in the lock. Wonderful. I've had this apartment on 5 occasions now and the key has got steadily more bent. Tonight's the night it breaks. The concierge speaks no English, my French is somewhat basic but dangling the remains of the key in the air with a plaintive "monsieur" is more than enough. There was a worrying "non" and a shrug as he tried to open the door but with a screwdriver he got me in. Thank you sir! Obviously I still need to be able to get back in tomorrow so a quick rummage through the kitchen drawers and I finally settle on the knife that will trip the lock (where most of the key remains).
Been a bit of rush today - and 4 hours later sitting in the cafe waiting for the team I wish I'd checked the crackberry the previous night. That way I might have seen the message "Team breakfast cancelled. So don't turn up!". Oh well 4 hours sleep is plenty. If I was half my age and not hungover.
Final meeting a breeze. One result of the solo team breakfast was that I was 2nd in queue to Fed-Ex the catalogues, DVDs etc back to the office. Slight moment of paranoia as I walked up to the MIP security and realised I had a small vegetable knife in my bag (the key to my apartment).
Time for a dash to the shops to buy Jake (my son) a car and some clothes. Quick trip to FNAC (French Borders) - blu rays and DVDs horribly overpriced. Though wish I'd brought "MR73" from the director of the excellent "36" as it's not out here for yonks if at all.
Jump on case, go to the lettings office to show them the key - "oh, it's finally broken" one of the women in the office says. Hmm.
Cab to the airport where I meet a woman outside struggling to find her lighter. I give her mine and tell her to keep it. She makes a joke about another person quitting after the market and hope it lasts this time. Of course it will I reassure her.
Waiting to drop my case I bump into Andrew from Eagle who's on the earlier flight. "Fancy a quick fag?" he asks. Ignore the sound of willpower crashing down and join him outside. Luckily my lighter recipient isn't there.
Am seated next to a former colleague from Sky, Kate, who now works for five. She settles down with an heroic dose of crap mags while I kick back and enjoy the majesty and splendour of "The Inglorious Bastards". Wish I'd known about the nude scene though. Kind of embarrassing sitting next to someone you know while the obligatory B-movie skinny dipping is taking place...
Get home around 7 Jake waiting for his present (I shouldn't' have tipped him off). He loves the car but loves the box more. It's a cliche but true - we still have the box from our TV which, armed with a Stanley Knife and Duct Tape, I turned into a racing car for him about a year ago.
Relaunch pending so have two continuity scripts to check as soon as the paper's been ripped off the box/car.
Some excellent programmes out there at MIPCOM - hopefully you'll get to see some of them in the next few months
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